I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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