it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
