his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All the doctor said was why
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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