Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
