it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
