There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
