ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
