Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
