I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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