WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
