thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
