I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
