Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
