I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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