Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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