god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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