My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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