mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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