You're completely useless in the revolution.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
