Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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