Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
