I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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