so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
