too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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