I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Will exercising make me less horny?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
