we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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