no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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