i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
