remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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