Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
