he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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