My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I did not marry a roomba.
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