..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
