And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
