just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
