Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
