great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
