Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
