Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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