i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
