I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
