Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
