i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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