you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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