I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
