So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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