My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
