Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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