a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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