Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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