That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
