I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
