i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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