I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize