I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
where are my eyebrows?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize