This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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