making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
