my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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