69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
