i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
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There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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