I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He better not be in your backpack
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
