I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
