Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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