Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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