So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
