good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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