it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
