I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
