I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Houston, we have a blender
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize